bigasshair

pretty baby

2011-09-07T09:24:00.001-07:00

I held on as tightly as you held onto me

2011-08-10T14:12:00.001-07:00

** watch in HD full screen. you can thank me later. **

There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills...
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust...
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home...

Cause, I built a home
for you
for me

Until it disappeared
from me
from you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...

Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me...

Cause, I built a home
for you
for me

Until it disappeared
from me
from you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...

* This video was created by Colin Rich and almost had my eyes leaking tears. As much as I have struggled living in this city that feels make believe, I dont know exactly what it is but there is something incredible about it. Mr. Rich has done an excellent job of capturing what exactly that is.

i have no words

2011-07-07T16:25:00.001-07:00

I think that if you thought about it you'd know you need me too...

2011-06-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

I'd make you love me so much that you'd ask permission to breathe.

hobbies

2011-05-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos Ive taken over the past few months or so...

still here

2011-05-01T16:38:00.001-07:00

So... obviously I have been slightly m.i.a. and if anything it's for the simple fact that where the hell does the time go?! I can not account for the last six months of my life although I know its been active..... I just havent had a whole lot to say these days.

Anyways, I did my Sunday morning ritual with yoga and a good coffee and practiced my piano chords- don't worry, you're all invited to my recital! I'll be the tall one hovering over the 20 or so 6-12 year old kids..

I am also really into dream catchers these days.. Anyone know how to make these bad boys?

look how cool these look!

Cheers loves!

kma

2011-04-23T21:33:00.001-07:00

nothing in los angeles is real.

This is the cutest thing I ever did see

2011-04-20T12:26:00.001-07:00

2011-04-13T16:00:00.001-07:00

to forget a friend is sad...and if I forget him, I may become like grown-ups who are no longer interested in anything

2011-03-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight

2011-03-25T09:58:00.000-07:00

here's a collection of funny laugh yer arse off videos to get you through to the weekend.... just don't pee pee in yer bed tonight

you don't know how to play the game

2011-03-23T13:40:00.001-07:00

2011-03-19T14:44:00.001-07:00

It was all a lie.

omg omg omg omg omg

2011-03-03T16:38:00.001-08:00

blame it on my wild heart

2011-03-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, the best things ever are created when no one is around... and every once in a while, someone may be lurking around the corner (in a non-creepy kind of way...or creepy... whatever you prefer) just at the right moment to capture it.

I'm glad this was captured... it is by far one of my most favorite things. Ever.

2011-02-26T17:53:00.000-08:00

miss piggy, you dirty dirty muppet

2011-02-25T11:41:00.000-08:00

In all my life and all my days....no video since the honey badger has made me swoon like this one...

I am a HUUUUUUUUUGE muppets fan. Every time I'm sick I watch Muppets Take Manhattan, I have the Fraggle Rock Boxed set, I met Big Bird once and kept his autograph (eventually got it framed... as an adult), and would probably fan out so hard (i.e blush, cry, maybe even pass out) if I was ever fortunate to go and meet Snuffleupagus (who has the prettiest eyelashes in the business)!!!

Well, I'm in a muppets mood so here is an homage to that!!!

Check the TUMBLR site for more muppsexicousness...

2011-02-25T10:38:00.000-08:00

my sentiments exactly

2011-02-22T15:25:00.000-08:00

in a galaxy far far away

2011-02-21T13:29:00.000-08:00

Star Wars Begins, a new 14-part fan-made documentary, available free on YouTube.

The 1977 movie is reconstructed in full, using lost footage, alternate takes of scenes, and narration taken from audio recordings of interviews with actors and behind-the-scenes crew.

Skipping around the ten-minute clips, you'll find gems like an alternate Cantina sequence, featuring a gorier bar brawl (not only does that drunk alien lose his arm to a lightsaber, but his head goes, too).

All that, and Han gets some action from a female patron.

Despite the geekier material, it's a fascinating look behind the scenes of a very risky Hollywood production — especially when studio execs demand that scenes of Luke and his friends are cut for being "too much like American Graffiti in space."

Watch it now, before Darth Lucas unleashes his legion of lawyers.

*Written by The Rundown

2011-02-21T09:43:00.000-08:00

i think i'm in love

2011-02-20T01:46:00.001-08:00

we're on tumblr

2011-02-20T00:23:00.000-08:00

WE'LL BE OVER THERE THIS WEEK || Still updating here but check us out:

BIGASSHAIR on TUMBLR

to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die

2011-02-19T00:40:00.000-08:00

The Dum Dum Girls are always a surprise when they show up on my iTunes playlist... I just got their EP He Gets Me High and I must confess that I have been listening to this more than the new Radiohead.... eek! It's good. Take a listen and if you like, I'll send you a copy!

wrong feels right ::

there is a light that never goes out ::

take care of my baby ::

2011-02-18T23:48:00.000-08:00

new radiohead

2011-02-18T11:40:00.000-08:00

Radiohead has a new album... and if you click somewhere here... you may find a lil surprise!

i need an escape

2011-02-18T03:37:00.000-08:00

I think I need to go somewhere...escape a while. See if I even miss this place. I don't really think it misses me when I'm gone. And that's ok. I just don't/can't/won't put my heart into anything/anyone that doesn't return at least a little bit of the same regard. I find her a bit mundane and almost boring filled with seekers. bleh... I want out and open to suggestions!

People always say, and I am no exception, that they never want to get married, be tied down, etc etc... but what I think the real problem is that we are too scared of missing out (on what, we're not so sure), being held back, and the obvious choice, risk the devastation that is heartbreak.

At the end of the day, isn't that part of what life is about? Sharing our experiences with another? Learning to think of someone else besides ourselves? Getting your heart ripped out of your chest, getting/learning to build it/yourself strong again on your own only to mend it again when it gets ripped out the next time part...

Honestly, is there anything better/more awful than loving someone so much that they have the power to do such wonderful/horrible things and all we can do is give as good as we want in return and hope/trust that they won't disappoint.

with my heart laid on the ground just looking for you

2011-02-17T00:35:00.000-08:00

As I have said numerous times, TVZ is THE most underrated musician. His voice conjures so many different images I don't even know nor care to start explaining. Just watch this. If you hate it then we'd probably not be friends anyways.

Cheers!

right now i don't care

2011-02-16T22:31:00.000-08:00

take anything and make it your own

2011-02-15T20:16:00.000-08:00

shatner did.

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove

2011-02-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

This is Andres and Matthew. They have been together 10 years and married for two. In the 6 years that I have known them, I have had the great pleasure to watch them evolve both as individuals and as a pair. I have never seen two people together as long as they have been, that still dig each other and consider the other the way these two do.

Their raw candid honesty, respect, and affection for one another is unmatched and one to be admired. They have set the bar for what a good relationship should look like and I am so lucky to have been able to witness this.

I dedicate this Valentine's Day to Matthew Schwartz and Andres Rigal. I love you guys wholly and wanted to send my thanks for letting me be part of your lives.

x's and oh's

kma

my heart is a lollipop

2011-02-12T02:04:00.000-08:00

This band/song/album had really pulled on my heartstrings from the moment I heard it. Although, it conjures different feelings now, this one song in particular gives me a lump in my throat. MUST STOP LISTENING YET CAN'T STOP LISTENING!

The band is called Lovers.

2011-02-11T02:11:00.000-08:00

2011-02-10T09:23:00.000-08:00

2011-02-08T15:44:00.001-08:00

the smell of the sea reminds me of home

2011-02-07T16:03:00.000-08:00

2011-02-06T21:11:00.000-08:00

maybe we should talk about this instead of the weather

2011-02-04T13:44:00.000-08:00

this conversation started with, "Are you there Kims? It's me Margaret."

2011-02-01T15:13:00.000-08:00

2011-01-31T16:53:00.001-08:00

marcel the shell

i know you are but what am i?

2011-01-28T09:28:00.000-08:00

2011-01-26T11:52:00.000-08:00

good bye

2011-01-25T08:29:00.000-08:00

The repairman in the doorway,
yellow hard-hat, scrub-jacket: Goodbye.
Name flashed on a plastic card.

He slips back into his life with
a fence around it.

Draped windows.

Not mine.

Lately I am so hard
people slide off me forever.

This emptiness sharpens me.
Light prints itself on the plate of memory,
acid on metal.

It's three years since we invented, you and I,
a ritual for leaving.

Back to back in the city street at noon

we walked five paces apart, and were swallowed up
by our lives.

When they said, If you eat this fruit you will die,

they didn't mean right away.

bob's new lineup for Coachella

2011-01-24T00:20:00.000-08:00

so.. this is waaaaaay better.. maybe I should go!

www.thehundreds.com

this one time when it rained...

2011-01-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

won't be the same dear, if your not here with me

2011-01-22T08:22:00.000-08:00

For whatever reason that makes no sense to me, I have been without a record player a majority of my Los Angeles life... going on 4 years now- I know! ITS NUTS... SO due to some reeee-donkulous circumstance: I HAVE A RECORD PLAYER. I waited 2 weeks for the right chord from Ebay and now she's spinning and ready to go! Unfortunately I only have one record in my possession and its a Christmas record! Fortunately, it is Elvis's!!!

SCORE!

**apparently listening to xmas records after xmas makes photos reverse**

So, I've been starting my mornings off with this... I just like the grainy sound more than anything. So, my ultimate goal this weekend is to build up my library again... I think the ones I had before that I gave away on "perma loan" have comfortably made their ways onto other peoples' lives and it would be unfair and not very karmic (?) of me to take them away from their new mommys and daddy's... so that means, new year, new collection.

This is going to be fun... Maybe I'll let you know what I ended up with...

also seems like I may need that camera... anyone have any ideas? SLR por favor

lykki li is untitled

2011-01-21T10:07:00.000-08:00

how can love bare to see you alone?

2011-01-20T01:29:00.000-08:00

This year started out on the floor... literally. I couldn't walk...LITERALLY! A couple bottles of drugs, LOTS of bed rest, a giant epidural ...yeah..I said EPIDURAL...as in what they give ladies about to birth a full sized child... and 12 books later, I was able to go and get my first full yoga session out of the way last night. ***sigh***

I'm not sure if it's the shorter days and longer nights, recovering and lack of social/endorphin/any interaction but I am such a homebody these days... reading and listening to records, playing piano and trying to slow down the noise.

I need a nature charge up- see some trees, smell some untouched air, lay in my backyard in Maine and look up at the sky when the sun tries to break through and barely makes its reflection to sit down by my side.

i hope sweet dreams tonight whisk you away tonight.

ive never been to africa

2011-01-18T23:02:00.000-08:00

2011-01-13T01:45:00.000-08:00

this may be one of the cutest things ever

2011-01-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

2011-01-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

its all in the legs

2011-01-11T17:13:00.000-08:00

if not with you, then where do i belong

2011-01-11T00:25:00.000-08:00

2011-01-10T12:19:00.000-08:00

its a birthday bash

2011-01-08T16:07:00.000-08:00

I didn't want to steal the thunder from my lovely friend, Lauren's, birthday so I waited till today to post all of the AMAZING icons that were birthed over the years on this apparently very popular birthing weekend.... that means, lotsa parentals were influencing each other in the bedroom as soon as April showers began to pour! *sorry...I'm so inappropriate!

Elvis, 76

David Bowie, 64

Jenny Lewis, 35

R. Kelly, 44

Carolina Herrera, 72

Dear Boom!

2011-01-08T12:49:00.000-08:00

I met this girl a couple of years ago at, of all place LAX - the club, not the airport. It was Banana Split and I walked in and we had the same jacket on. We instantly bonded over our similar, might I add GREAT, taste and so began a blossoming friendship. We are real friends- I think it's our Sagitarius - Capricorn compatibility that has allowed us to endure plus the fact that she is an honest, down to earth, sweet and caring friend. I love her mucho and wish her the best year she's ever had... she deserves it!

Happy Birthday Lauren!!!

Love always,

Poodle

(Your hetersexual life mate/wife)

day 5

2011-01-06T17:16:00.000-08:00

So continues the pain. I awoke in a groggy state feeling super confident that my ability to move about (50% more than I have since my tragic fall in the bathroom on Sunday) meant I was pretty much near the end of this New Years' journey... I have felt uncomfortably high all day. Found out that, aside from this issue, I am "much too young to have such an effed up back". I will spare you the details but in summation, my debilitating pain is the least of my worries. Apparently, my neck is what’s all messed up and usually this is what they see in patients around 18-20 years my senior. (Insert sad faces here)

Not realizing that the dose of muscle relaxers I took before sleep last night were still n full effect, I said I felt great and that hopefully I can resume bikram again.... I was met with a giggle from the nurse and a blank stare from my doctor, who told me to get to bed stat!

I guess the meds wore off about 2 hours ago because now I feel like shit again and to top it off, every time I turn around (slower than a tortoise) I knock something over. I have broken glass everywhere and cannot muster up the lumbar strength to pick it up.... eeek

sing me to sleep

2011-01-05T23:44:00.000-08:00

Day 4 of bed rest and the pills I must take have me with awful dreams forcing me to wake with fret and fear... I can't really explain what I am so worried about but I know that once I realize I am no longer in a dreaming state of torment, the distance between what I have created as my home and my actual home feels greater than ever before.

I just want to sleep well and wake up when all of this is over with... when ever I would see my grandmother, after I would attack her with cuddles and kisses, I'd lay my head down in a "convenient" spot across her lap. This is univeral code in our family for "Play with my hair". There are also other poses that imply "scratch my back", "massage me please", and my personal favorite "lightly drag your fingertips across my arms"! The times that I most realize the distance are times like right now. When a stroke to my hair would put me at ease and hopefully to sleep!!!

I really do not like these drugs. I had to ask the doctor to stop prescribing me so many. And I actually went most of the day w/o taking them until I got checked by a thing known as "Ouch" but more like "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuuuuuuCHHHH!"
followed by a couple "Why!?"s and "OH MY GAWWWWDDDDD NOOOOOOOOOO"! Throw some tears and you get the gist!

Hope sleep is with you. I am here envying you!

x's and oh's

kims

time out

2011-01-04T14:04:00.000-08:00

Due to a slipped disk in my spine, I am on doctors orders to remain in bed. Not like it will be very hard considering I can not walk without screaming in agony.

This is the worst pain ever so I hope you can excuse me while I get back to you hopefully next week while I recover.

xoxoxo

once in a while, your present becomes your past.

2011-01-02T02:40:00.000-08:00

Earlier in the year, I received a call on a Saturday morning in April. I was told that I needed to be in Washington DC to visit a family member. 2 hours later I was on a plane en route to my third home (1st being Portland, 2nd, New York City of course). With the 3 hours I instantly lost upon arrival, the rain and dark sky seemed sadly appropriate, given the circumstances. When I finally was brought to the hospital, we told her I was there to celebrate her birthday which was to fall the next day. When I turned around I saw that my entire family had flown/drove/teleported from all over the land of America to be at her side as well.

I extended my stay to an extra week. Something in my guts knew it was the last time I was to share the same room's air with her and I wanted to savor every second of it. Every evening, like a rittual, I argued my way into sleeping at the hospital.

"There's no room and you can't translate sweety. Please go home and return in the morning, we need you to be rested and strong for everyone," they pleaded.

My begging responses included, "I'm staying. I'll sleep in the lobby if I have to!"

"No, I have jet lag and insomnia, I never sleep!"

"Please! Don't make me leave!"

I wanted to play nurse for anything she needed. If she had a thirst, I wanted to quench it. An itch? I would scratch it! I tried to talk to her with our 30 year barrier of broken languages we had between us; we had sort of adapted our own communication form built off of hand gestures and broken words... somehow, we could talk to each other, much to everyone's confusion. *we had perfected it sometime in the late 80's.

She gave me some last wisdoms and told me to discard anything/one who doesnt see me for who I am, she then proceeded to tell me who I was. She said some pretty amazing things to me but mostly, I kept waiting for her to say my name. I liked the way she said my name. The thing with big families is that when someone tries to call you from across the room, there is a montage of at least 10 names that they call before they actually get to yours. My name usually sounds like "CatSherNatZibHomeBahSimCatKimCatCatSharKimKeemya". So to get full attention to your name in one fell swoop is a pretty big deal. When she said my name, I felt like I was home.

She has/d this great gift of, no matter who you were (be it one of her 8 children, 12 grandchildren, or one of her "adopted faily" that insisted on calling her "Momon" like the rest of us) you always felt like you were her absolute favorite. That you and her had a very special bond so no matter how often you had to share her, you were happily obliged to step to the side and let other people share some moments. Its a very intriquite art that I still have not figured out and only realized while I was sitting next to her, trying to figure out how you say goodbye to someone you love more than yourself. I cried for her pain, I cried for her children, my mentors were someone's child and their mommy was sick and leaving them an orphan. I cried for the pain, as did everyone, and oceans of distance, of the ones that could not be there. I felt such sadness for my mother who's life has been to only be with her mother. I often joked they were dating or a homage to Grey Gardens (without all the filth). For the first time, I was able to see my mother and her siblings as someones' children. And they were having to say good-bye to their mommy. It's a very intense perspective I would have missed had I not been in that setting. It's one that I will carry forever.

A lot of people are accustomed to losing grandparents earlier on in their lives and almost always with amazing postive memories. Imagine living to 30 and having that. The only person I have ever loved and adored with not a fraction of friction between us, I said good-bye to her on a Sunday as my flight was soon to bring me back to Los Angeles. I put her Koran under her pillow and said I'd be back on Friday. With a long stare, she told me to go and I knew we had nothing left to say.

Friday never came. I was back that Wednesday for he funeral. She passed on right after I left. She was 88 years and one week old. She was made of gold and kisses and I am forever indebted with gratitude. I thank the stars she showed me mine. I love her, my Momoni.

the office is a really really good show

2011-01-01T01:28:00.000-08:00

so.... the countdown continues and I am here to present to all 6 of you loyal followers, the # 6th thing I learned in 2010: The office is a really really good show.

#7 & 8

2010-12-31T10:10:00.000-08:00

7. Even genius (people/works/art/etc) is inspired from others. Radiohead's infamous 'Creep' was based of of The Hollies classic 'The Air that I Breathe' so much so that Albert Hammond and Mike Hazelwood were given cowriters' credits when Radiohead first released the single.

8. Believe people the first time they show you who they are. Don't let it change you. Don't become bitter or jaded. Sometimes people push the boundaries of our comforts and what we (individually) define as right vs wrong. People usually will not change, and if they do, it will most likely/if ever happen are only when you've been forced to just move on without them. This is not a bad thing.

a countdown of things i have learned this year

2010-12-30T16:15:00.000-08:00

9. Positive thinking will change your perspective

10. Indeed, sometimes "NO" means "YES"

more to come

i gave him all the love that i had

2010-12-28T17:19:00.000-08:00

no matter how bad/sad/down a mood i am in, this song WILL always lift my spirits up...

trust me when i say, this is on repeat.repeat.repeat. all day, every day for the rest of the year.

merry forkin xmas

2010-12-25T04:16:00.000-08:00

lovesick

2010-12-23T01:50:00.000-08:00

lindstrom and christabelle :: lovesick

3 steps to perfection

2010-12-20T10:38:00.000-08:00

:: Steve McQueen ::

a mans man - a la Mister Mcqueen. Although he was a bit rough around the edges, there is something insanely alluring/sexy/necessary about a man who just don't give a care! Although, in all reality, this alone just equals chaos with someone who is no good for conversation and a girl would/could/should only fancy (beginning probably) two drinks in.

The rugged guy who's good with his hands. Cater to her adventurous side and probably can build and fix every broken car, window, closet in his ladies ' abode.

:: Townes Van Zandt ::

The guy who she really understands through his songs. The tormented soul she hopes/thinks/longs to "save". The sensitive crooner/artistic man who will love/keep her warm through the night and really "pays attention" to all of the little things.

This guy is one the MOST underrated musicians of all time! He is also one of my favorite people that I am insanely intrigued by.

:: Jean-Paul Belmondo ::

He was in one of my favorite films, Breathless. The cynicism his characters usually embraced is both sexy, realistic, and arrogant. But not in a way that makes you want to punch him in the noggin.. the kind that intrigues a lady to delve deeper and see what makes em tick.

Although he's French, I don't particularly care for the French (nor actors generally), buuuuuuuut I adore so many things about this Euro-country:

the architecture, one of my favorite people that was kidnapped by them, their subway system, Montmarde, their pace, films, natural beauty that is appreciated,Brigitte Bardot, and their bread and milk is pretty good too!

*sigh*

2 parts Townes Van Zandt

2 parts Jean-Paul Belmondo

3 dashes of Steve Mcqueen

equals:

maybe this recipe was a bad idea...

Ultimately, whatever you mix to get this guy, not the one he played in movies per se, Paul Newman is my ideal dream boat- unchanged exactly as he was... in love and life.

I cried the night he passed - I think somewhere deep inside, I held hope that his 1960's self would meet up with my 20's self...

... weird. strange.

ok xo

this just in

2010-12-20T09:27:00.000-08:00

this is so awesome. merry effing christmas!

2010-12-17T15:25:00.001-08:00

if it's a good marriage, it'll last till 5:30

2010-12-17T04:18:00.000-08:00

This is one of my all time favorite movies from childhood. It was the same reference where I learned about writing, marriage, love and movie stars. Neil Simon wrote this screenplay in 1963 which was adapted from Broadway to film in 1967. When I moved to my first apartment in New York after high school, I was doorbell-less, elevator-less and five story walk up with no a/c or heat. Yet, somehow, I was as happy as a clam as I often thought of this film. I felt a connected to Cory and Paul's story every time I ordered a pizza and broke a sweat going to meet the delivery guy downstairs or when I caught a cold in my apartment because I woke up to a pile of snow on my pillow that came from some random windw crack, some other quirky happening occured.

Now I love this film for other reasons...its a testament to how different the perspectives of women and men are as they approach relationships... both arguments valid (and definitely dramatized), twisted in view by the other party, and yet, both equally important.

The Honeymoon stage : Love

The Fight : Contempt

The compromise: thus a more realistic "Happily Ever After"

Here's a timeless breakdown of how relationships work. Maybe not verbatim and of course there are discrepancies... but this my friends, is funny, classic, and a pretty decent portrayal with the happy ending-ish.

enjoy.

kma

dirty diddy ho caught her ho ho on fuego

2010-12-16T10:12:00.000-08:00

stop slouching

2010-12-15T17:05:00.000-08:00

don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever 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fuck em.

i found blood and i saw stars. all in the backseat of your car...

2010-12-15T10:50:00.000-08:00

Photo by Eliot Lee Hazel

I have been a little swamped/overwhelmed these days which also induces a self inflicted hibernating mode I kind of get inhaled into...

Photo by Eliot Lee Hazel

There are three possible reasons circulating in my brain as to the cause:

1. It gets dark at like 4:30 pm and I am experiencing what is called a "Vitamin D deficiency"

cure: I should probably start taking my vitamins again.

Photo by Aaron Feaver

2. I am getting older and real life problems can't be pawned or pushed to the side with such ease and carelessness as in such youthful previous years of yore.

cure: deal with it.

3. Mercury Retrograde.

cure: Wait it out.

I like the third option... Its so much easier to blame everything on MERCURY RETROGRADE. I will wait it out and in the process I can just blame. I don't like to blame people for any disfunction and I have huge guilt whenever I notice any hints that my brain begins to steer that way, but eff it! It's Mercury's fault and 3 times a year this planet becomes a little bitch and in the process I have a whipping boy who's feelings can't get hurt. It's lose-win-win!

Anyways, I am a little bit in and out and have been going to sleep around 8 or 9pm only to wake up at 3am unable to sleep! It's the pits and it will pass... eventually. I am constantly thinking though.

Thinking of simplicity. Of the way people are where i am from and how bored I used to be, it was so damned quiet..but how I ache for that sameness sometimes. But, I always knew who I was talking to when I spoke to someone... and never felt like I was inconveniencing people like I do out here...

Although it seems *infeasible for the type of person I am at this stage of my life... (it's more for the ready to settle down-phase). This town just drains / exhausts me sometimes.

Or maybe it's my age, I have never lived anywhere else at this age and I think LA is unlike so many other places with a valid normalcy of humanity, so, in turn I have chosen to blame this city ... kind of like I chose to blame Mercury... sorry guys...

Actually it's my fault. I have just had a couple rotten-apple-encounters-that-spoil-the-entire-bushel situations this past year...

I have met / know the most incredible personalities and thank my lucky stars everyday to be so fortunate... However, Mercury being a bitch gives me a green light today to vent!

I think I just need a vacation or commit some folks to Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind clinic... do they have those in Los Angeles? What search word should one use on yelp.com?

x/o

kma

*this is a word... i googled it

good bye 20's

2010-12-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of all of the things "I nevered" and may be innapropriate to do in my, dare I say, thirties!!!!

Thinking aloud, I must admit, you could NEVER pay me to go through the ages 24 through 26 again... those 2 years were full of "life lessons one can only learn on their own"! But man, when I came out of it... I celebrated my arse off and (because of all the anxiety I had) was super skinny to boot (as in Kate Moss'd be proud skinny).

What didn't I do that we can justify as still being "young and impressionable"?

Well... I never:

+ had a girlfriend where I claimed, "I fell in love with the person not their gender" only to go back to dating men only.

+ backpacked around Europe and enjoyed living in and out of hostels just for the sake of "really experiencing the culture".

+ was known from my days on the reality show (blah, blah, blah).....

+ got married and divorced in the same Las Vegas "White Chapel"...

Now that I can see it all listed out... I guess I didn't miss out too much. I don't like girls "in that way, I have had the opportunity of being propositioned quite a few times... and nope, just not for me... It could be cool to share a wardrobe though..

I have been to Europe a few times and I can honestly say without shame that I am more of an "appreciator of hotels"... especially in Paris!

I know enough people from reality television... so I can live vicariously.

And if I ever do wed, he'd have to be a pretty big deal. Like fight crime or be a carpenter or something like that. I would only do it the one time so I'd have to be pretty sure...

However, I have accomplished a great many things in my day, seen a great many things, loved and have been loved by a great deal of wonderful people... maybe even been disliked too... (but that's ok), I have made mistakes, recovered, learned, matured, blah blah blah...

Point in case: I am ready for the 2nd 3rd phase of my life. It sounds exciting.

reading rainbow :: always on my mind

wild nothing :: live in dreams

never trust a man who gives you back another girls' earrings

2010-12-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

twice.

somebody spoke and i went into a dream

2010-12-10T13:55:00.000-08:00

Wednesday marked the 30th anniversary of John's death. I was actually due to be born that very day... as a child, I was told that I both refused to share a day associated with such heartache/violence/pain and that I fought coming out into a Lennon-less world...

I still wonder.

a day in the life

woman

jealous guy

hands down the worst human being in the world

2010-12-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

See more funny videos and TBT at Todays Big Thing.

you know very well... who you are

2010-12-08T13:24:00.001-08:00

i got published

2010-12-08T10:28:00.000-08:00

all i want for christmas is you

2010-12-06T11:07:00.000-08:00

ashley smith for topshop

kate does italia

2010-12-03T00:20:00.000-08:00

Kate Moss for Vogue Italia December 2010

another thing or two i've learned about a thing or two

2010-12-02T11:42:00.000-08:00

i like men who haven't lived with too many women.
i don't expect virginity but i simply prefer men
who haven't been rubbed raw by experience.

there is a quality about men who choose
women sparingly;
it appears in their walk
in their eyes
in their laughter...

those who have given to too many...
seem to choose the next one
out of revenge rather than with

feeling.

when you play the field selfishly everything
works against you:
one can't insist on love or
demand affection.
you're finally left with whatever
you have been willing to give
which often is:
nothing.

some women are delicate things
some women are delicious and
wondrous.

if you want to piss on the sun
go ahead
but please leave us
alone.

- Charles Bukowski

(*covered by KMA - musicians "cover" songs all the time, why can't writers "cover" poems too?)

If you are looking to buy me a birthday present... look no further!

2010-12-02T10:41:00.000-08:00

Studio Rolf.fr and Zecc Architects have achieved something truly extraordinary with the renovation of a 100 year old, neglected Rotterdam home.

They completely gutted and renovated a 30 year old vacant building and created my dream home. Shying away from conventional interiors like doors, railings, and banisters the modern and simplistic approach is also super complex...

The Black Pearl House is a dream of mine. Just in case you were wondering.

thoughts on the last days of 20s

2010-12-02T00:19:00.000-08:00

I wish I were younger

and the only word "Standard" meant was "Hotel"

things that make me smile

2010-12-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

i know its hard to heal a broken heart...

2010-11-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

I remember getting my first copy of Use Your Illusion in the mail with that BMG deal where you could order 7 CDs for a penny! I read the liner notes and learned the lyrics to every song as I listened on repeat everyday before school, after school, during school.

I also remember watching the video for November Rain, getting sucked into it and thinking, "My goodness... what a sad wedding day but MY GOD she's so pretty!!" and thinking that when girls grew up,we just wake up in Stephanie Seymour's body. ***To be young again and completely oblivious again! **SIGH**

guns n' roses :: november rain

despite all the turkey i'm bout to eat...

2010-11-25T00:01:00.000-08:00

I am still really, really, really ridiculously good looking...

Well, fellow lovers of c'est moi... Happy Turkey Day! This is BY FAR my absolute favorite holiday!!!

Unlike the December-I'm-gonna-get-broke-on-this-dumb-gift-i-bought-for-you-that-i-really-want-should-we-go-to-your-parents-house-or-mine-first-i-hate-you-holidays... Thanksgiving is awesome!!! It's like Christmas without the pressure (except the pressure around your jeans).

It's a holiday spent around great friends and long-time-no-seen family and its based around FOOD! No one is stressing about money or buying gifts for people that they're still not sure if they should because it's akward if they dont by you a gift even though you are broke and have to shell out money to go freeze your ass of in the snow but with all the same catering!!! Like seriously, whats better than that?

NO, I am actually asking you!

So, excuse me while I go earn my fourth blackbelt in turkey and mashed potatoes! Cheers to you and yours.

x's and oh's

kims

in honor of our great country and freedom of speech

2010-11-24T00:02:00.000-08:00

look in the light

2010-11-23T09:31:00.000-08:00

let's do what turns you on, don't you want me...

2010-11-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across the band Lovers by accident. This album is at a mellower pace but god damn I think there are some tracks on here that are sexy as hell...

Seriously "Don't You Want it" is making me swoon with idealistic romantical fantasies "Barnacle", "Figure 8", and "Boxer" are all standouts as well.

If you don't like it... ummm... ok. cool. go away then...

Here are some previews...

lovers :: don't you want it

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP

lovers :: boxer

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP

Tracklist:

01 – Barnacle

02 – Figure 8

03 – Boxer

04 – Don’t You Want It

05 – Peppermint

06 – Shepherd of the Stray Hearts

07 – No Regrets

08 – To Be a Dancer (I Am Alive)

09 – The Boy Who Cried Wolf

10 – Cedar Falls

i once played romantic lead in your tragic comedy

2010-11-21T23:21:00.000-08:00

we never really mattered

2010-11-21T22:20:00.000-08:00

i didn't realize when you said to me

"i love you"

that you just didn't remember my name

holding on like a sea of tears

2010-11-21T21:11:00.000-08:00

yes, yes i would.

2010-11-20T14:48:00.000-08:00

call me old fashioned but this is perfect.

space bonds

2010-11-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

the news is now my favorite tv show

2010-11-18T12:24:00.001-08:00

Anderson Cooper is kind of the perfect guy... he is smart, knows what he is talking about, to the point, an amazing dresser, and always looks like he smells really good.

So, as an investigative journalist, he really hops (pun intended) all in to what he is researching. Bunny suit and all!

this is the best thing i have seen all day!

mature facts for mature folks

2010-11-18T12:08:00.000-08:00

1. i think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you were wrong.

3. i totally take back all those times i didn't want to nap when i was younger.

4. there is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5. how the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. was learning cursive really necessary?

7. mapquest really needs to start their directions on #5. i am pretty sure i know how to get out of my own neighborhood.

8. obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. i cannot remember the last time i wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. bad decisions make for great stories.

11. you never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. can we all just agree to ignore whatever technology is invented after blue ray? i don't want to have to restart my collection all over again (nor learn how to use it).

13. i am always slightly terrified when i exit out of Word and it asks me if i want to save any changes to my ten page technical report that i did not make any changes to.

14. i keep some peoples' phone numbers in my phone just so i know not to answer when they call.

15. there really needs to be a light in the freezer.

16. i disagree with Kay Jewelers. i bet on any given Friday or Saturday evening, more kisses begin with vodka than Kay.

17. just because its possible to reach me almost anywhere, doesn't mean i check my blackberry in the shower, the pool, on a hike, at a funeral or when i am fighting crime. if i don't answer, i am most likely doing one of these things or see #14.

18. i have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. how many times is it appropriate to say, "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear a word they said?

20. i love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. stay strong, drivers!

21. shirts get dirty. underwear gets dirty. pants? pants never get dirty and you can wear them forever.

22. men are just as sensitive, if not more, than women. women are just as salacious, if not more, than men. neither genders have come to terms with these facts.

23. sometimes i will look at the clock 3 to 4 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

24. even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time!

25. the first testicular guard, "the cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. that means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain was just as important.

i found this randomly on the internets and it had me dying! just thought i'd share the wealth...

dr. viktor frankl :: the meaning of life

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP

conclusions and stuff

2010-11-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

i have come to the conclusion that i just want to be around people that inspire me. inspire me to make things. do things i have always put on hold because .... well, just "because". i want to be around things that inspire me to delve more into the arts, to work better and harder. i want to tap into new parts of my brain that are (obviously) currently reserved for amazing wit and a brilliant/candid/winning personality... *sigh*

As i approach the beginning of the big three oh birthday season... i realize I AM NO WHERE near where i always thought i'd be. first let me start by saying, when i was 18 i swore to the Appalachian Mountains that "i was going to live fast" and "i was not even live to see 30" ... i of course, was an asshole.

when i grew up a few years later, i.e. the law allowed me to get a drink in public, i swore to the high heavens i was "gonna be/do amazing things" "make my mark" and other generic yet totally true in that moment proclamations! i may or may not have just been drunk!

now, in more recent years, i have had my dreams/heart/trust/aspirations taken and spit out/crushed/broken and then handed back to me with no one else but c'est moi to put them back together... there is this acknowledgement that exists among peers in the form of a simple nod of the head, as if to say, "yeah, i know! sucks huh?" and i can't help but be so grateful for having been handed such humbling gifts. i have come to realize what spoiled brats we have all been, where time is the only thing that can allow us to have gratitude for what we really posses. I would still be an asshole had i never been able to fall on my own face and then force myself to build my strength back only to have another go at it. again and again. and cause i missed the pain, again one more time.

now, if i am seem like an asshole at all, i'm not. i am just kind of in a rush and my back hurts...

*these videos are just cool/maybetooseductive/maybetooartsy/but i like em anyways and you can always turn em off.

x's o's

-k

once upon a time

2010-11-16T00:01:00.001-08:00

i was sad until i realized

he wasn't.

the end.